Stuff my Mom says

Laura and Mom are sitting on the couch. Mom wants to write a letter of invitation to her niece so she can get a visa to visit us in the United States. At first, Laura tries to write a letter to Mom's niece as Mom dictates it, but because Mom became distracted by the Pistons/Lakers game, she makes Laura write a letter instead.

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Dear Amie,

I'm looking forward to meeting you! My mom tells me you just bought a house in London. Maybe we can visit you sometime soon. I don't know if you know me, we've never met, but I'm your Tita's oldest daughter, Laura. I'm twenty-three and I have a younger sister named Noona. She'll be twenty-two on June 30 (fifteen days from now.)

I can't wait to meet you! Please come and visit us in August for Mom's [censored]th birthday. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that my boyfriend Lucas proposed to me last weekend! Congratulations to me! Anyway, the reason why I mention him is because you can meet him when you come to visit. Looking forward to seeing you.

Love,
Laura (decorated with stars, hearts, a bumblebee, and other unnecessary stuff.)
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Mom: You should add something like "Please call my mom when you make plans..."

Laura: What?

Mom: You know, just a sentence somewhere that says to contact me.

Laura: (handing Mom the yellow legal pad) Here, you do it. I'm done.

Mom: (speaking as she writes) P.S. When your plans are set, call my mom so that she can arrange your visit here in the U.S. Do you have any prefer-ence to visit... (she pauses, Laura starts smiling) to prefer to visit... (Laura snickers) That's not proper English, is it? If you have any place to prefer to visit? (Mom looks at Laura and sees her trying not to laugh. Mom slaps Laura in the stomach with the yellow legal pad. Laura breaks out laughing.) YOU ARE MEAN! (Laura laughs hysterically.) Stop Looking at Me! (Dad enters.) Dad, Laura is MEAN! (Laura continues laughing very loudly.) Your laugh is loud. Like Stink Pants'! (under her breath) Crazy.