Curiosity killed the end of my finger.

andy's "The No One Ever Has To Drive To Midland, Which Sucks Ass, Again Potluck" is tomorrow! He and anderella don't know this yet, but I'll probably be crashing on their couch tomorrow night, because it's a frickin' two hour drive down that way. It'll be worth it though. I'll get to see a bunch of people I haven't seen in a very, very long time.

I know it'll be worth it, because I sacrificed the end of my finger for it.


(well, I sacrificed a couple nerve endings and epithelial cells on the end of my finger for it.)

What would be so intensely important for me to risk life and finger for andy's party? Lecheplan.

I believed I mentioned this before; it's a Filipino dessert (not desert, andy) full of cholesterol-ly goodness! The recipe itself is easy (I'll post it if people want a copy) but the love, getting the love just right, is hard. I know because I got a heat blister when I burned the love.


Flashback to three days ago.

Laura: Mom, I want to make lecheplan for andy's potluck party.

Mom: Okay.


Flashback to seven hours ago.

Laura: Mom, I want to make lecheplan for andy's potluck party.

Mom: OH! We haven't even bought anything yet. Do you know how to make it?

Laura: I watched Tita Ding Ding while she made one. It doesn't seem that hard. (Mom makes Laura call Tita Ding Ding to be sure of the ingredients and directions.)

Mom: Okay, go to the store and buy the ingredients.

Laura: Will you come with me?

Mom: No.

Laura returns twenty minutes later with the required ingredients. (There's a funny side story involving Kogel's viennas and Mom being selfish, but I'll have to post that later).


Mom and I started the ordeal by combining all the ingredients and mixing them in a bowl. Easy! Then we start looking for a very important tool, the steamer. We find it in five minutes. Super Easy! With the tools and the ingredients, there's only one thing left to make: the syrup.

For those of you who don't know, making syrup from sugar is hard when you've never done it before, and especially hard when your names are Laura and Laura's Mom.

Tita Ding Ding said that all you have to do is take one cup of sugar and heat it in a sauce pan over low heat very slowly.

Mom and I put a cup of sugar in a sauce pan and heat it slowly. Looks good so far...and Mom gets impatient.


Mom: Maybe we should add water.

Laura: No! Tita Ding Ding didn't say anything about water.

Mom: Let's just add a little water.

Laura: NO! There's not supposed to be any water! (Laura turns to see Mom with a small bowl of water.) Awww!

(Mom pours the water into the syrup. Bubbles, steam and a burny smell erupt from the pot.)

Laura: Mom! I told you so! There's not supposed to be any water! (Mom calls Tita Ding Ding, who assures Mom there isn't supposed to be any water.)

Mom: Well, let's take it off then and start again.


The cheap-ass side of me starts thinking, "Maybe we can still use this burned pile of sugary flesh..." I tell Mom we can use it. Mom says it's just a cup of sugar and we can try again. I say it's okay, let's use the burned pile of sugary flesh, my friends won't mind. Mom says sugar is cheap, dumps the crap into a bowl, rinses the pan and pours a cup of new sugar into it.

So I try to make this one without any water or any of my mother's help. It starts off good, the sugar's melting slowly...then a little faster...then too fast...then it bubbles into a similar sugary, burny mess. Mom laughs at me, and calls Tita Ding Ding. This time she says to use a shallow pan on low heat and stir for a really, really long time. Then she laughs because it's the third time we've called her tonight.

While she and Mom are talking, I looked over at the first bowl of caramel disaster. Stupidly thinking it was cool, I put my finger to it to see how it tastes now. It's still hot (of course) and the next thing I know, there is a delicate golden fiber of sugar hanging off the tip of my blistering finger. I think to myself, "So that's how they make those sugar strings" and dunk my hand into some water.

Mom and I try a third time to make the sugar caramelized syrup. It starts out good...it's taking forever...then Dad comes home and wants to go out to dinner. Mom, who is all for giving up, says let's go and we leave to eat at Big Boy's. On the way home after dinner, we buy some dark Karo syrup, because it's just easier. Upon arriving at home, we find two pots full of rock hard, burned sugar candy. It wouldn't have been that bad if the stuff hadn't tasted like charcoal. It's almost four in the morning and the pots are still soaking in water which is slowly using it's science magic to dissolve the sugar away (I know we could heat the pots back up to soften the sugar, but that takes work and there's a good chance I'll burn myself again. Better to leave sleeping pots lie in the sink with water.)

Anyway, Mom and I took the cheater way out, used some Karo syrup and made the lecheplan. It turned out okay. I think it's better with the sugar syrup, but I guess it's best not to let your lofty goals overpower your lack of talent, lest you burn your hand on a pot of molten sugar lava.