Didn't you know? Heart attacks are good for you!

As a bunch of you already know, I'm in a play in my local community theatre. It's called "Rumors" by Neil Simon (I always want to say Paul Simon, but that'd be weird. Can you imagine Lady Smith Black Mambazo in a farce?)

I walk into rehearsal on Sunday fifteen minutes late (I went to a wedding show!). Anyway, I sit down, relieved that they're not doing a scene I'm in. As I'm watching, something horrific dawns on me.

They're not using their scripts.

Terror strikes me in waves as I scoot next to Ken(0) and Chris(0) (from the older cast. Those are their character names), who are watching the scene.


Laura: (whispered) Are we off book today? (They both silently nod with giant grins on their faces.) OH MY GOSH! I'm not ready! (Ken(1) and Cookie(1) (from the younger cast) start snickering like crazy. From the directors table, comes an angry shhhh.)

So with that, I stuff my head in my script, frantically cramming my lines, my cue lines, and my blocking into my already brimming brick for a mind. Luckily, we were rehearsing the older cast first, so I had about fifteen minutes before the rest of the act was over.

Then we switch to the younger cast. The guy I play opposite of, Glenn(1) was sick that day, so I had to rehearse with Glenn(0) of the older cast, who I've acted with before.

So I'm there, doing a decent job for having just memorized the lines. I still had to say "line" every now and then for a prompt, but not as often as I would've had to if I hadn't done that last minute cramming. I was doing okay, I really was...until this happened.


Laura: (yelling her line) Don't you DARE lie to me! (Glenn(0) chortles, probably from the expression on Laura's face.) Don't smile at me either! I'm trying to be serious and say my lines but I can't do it when you're laughing at me!


The whole room erupted in laughter. I lost it, everybody lost it, and from then on I felt a little more comfortable asking for lines.

Nothing gets the heart pumping like panic and stress.