andy's Questions

1.) You've watched the occasional anime and played the occasional video game. If you could live in any of the fictional worlds of any video game or anime (series or movie) which would it be (not to bias you, but I think you should pick "Those Who Hunt Elves - Elf Stripping for Fun & Profit")? Needless to say, you have to tell why, what special powers you'd have, what job (or lack thereof) you'd have, what you'd wear, and who you'd hang out with, etc.

Grrarr, another hard one. I can think of so many anime I would be in, like Outlaw Star or Slayers, or DBZ or Cowboy Bebop. In Outlaw Star, I'd be super cool, like Twilight Suzuka and run around in kimono with a wooden sword. I'd hang out with Gene Starwind and that lady that died in the second or third episode who's name I can't remember (Hilda? something like that. Help me andy, I've forgotten. She was cool though.) In Slayers, I'd be a super cool sorceress with the power of levitation so I wouldn't have to walk anywhere. I'd hang out with Gourry and Lina, but not Amelia. Her father Prince Phil is cool, but I'd have to kick Amelia's ass with my super cool lightning bolt awesome-u powaru! (say this aloud with a Japanese accent and it makes more sense.) I'd wear something super sexy that shows off my midriff, like Lina, but I'd have more boobies. In DBZ, I think I'd hang out with Chi-chi and Bulma, because I think I'd get along with them really well. I'd be able to fly though, and if Master Roshi would let me, I'd wear an outfit with the turtle logo on the back. As for Cowboy Bebop, well, I think Stink Pants #5 would grudgingly agree with me that Spike is damn attractive. 'Nuff said. Oh yeah, I can't forget Pokemon. I don't care how many people are shaking their heads in disgust, I LIKE POKEMON. Pokemon are cool! I'd have a bulbasaur, and her name would be Daisy! And we'd go around beating up other trainers' pokemon and catching pokemon and having all kinds of fun, super cool adventures! Gotta catch 'em all and beat 'em into submission!!!!

I think the overall, number one anime I'd be in (right now, I'm sure I'll think of something better later) is Pilot Candidate. I know, being a girl, I'd have to be an Ingrid repairer (Ingrids are the giant robots), but maybe I'd be able to make the cut and be one of the few girl Goddess pilots. It would just be neat to be training for combat in outer space. The series ended on a cliffhanger though, so I hope they come out with another season in Japan. I'd wear the traditional pilot outfit: skin tight white jumpsuit with color patches on it signifying which ingrid I pilot (unless I was a repairer. Then I'd wear a baggy orange jump suit with a hat.)

As for video games, I'd be in ChronoCross, because of all the cool characters. I thought the ending of the game sucked ass though, so I'd just travel around finding more and more people to be in my group. I guess I'd have to use kitchen utensils (no dagger/shot/melee weapon for me) and I might be a cat person from the Isle of Marbule, with an inherent color of blue. I'd hang out with Magus, because even though he's only got a few first level spells, he has a crapload of higher level spells. Maybe we'd have a combo attack, and he'd do some sort of cool black magic spell while I furiously beat someone with my rainbow shell spoon! I think I'd also like to be in Animal Crossing, because the American capitalist in me wants me to have the biggest house with the nicest, rarest stuff (and the mischievious sprite in me wants me to beat up animals with my bug net.)
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2.) If you could beat up any highbrow author, past or present (think any authoer you had to read for a literature class, or heard about someone having to read for a literature class), which one would it be? Again, you should answer why you picked that particular author, how you would beat him or her, which novel/story most inspired your rage, how badly you would beat him/her, and if you'd give him/her dried fish afterward.

Hmmm. I'm not as well read as I'd like to be. I do know a bunch of sci-fi authors, but I don't think that's what you're looking for. I think I'd have to beat up Michel Foucault, not because of anything he wrote, but because of my Hu101h professor, Matt something-or-other. I can't remember his name, but having him for a teacher developed a healthy dislike of many authors he taught about in that class, the most memorable being Michel Foucault. The only thing I can remember about Michel Foucault is The Panopticon. It had something to do with watching people without being watched yourself. There's a prison in France somewhere where all the prisoners are in cells that are very small, arranged like a doughnut, so the bars face in. If you were in a cell, you'd be able to wave at a another prisoner across the quad, if it wasn't for the giant tower in the middle where the guards watch from. The windows in the tower are small enough that the prisoners cannot see in, but the guards can see out, and they can see almost every prisoner from their perch. (Hmmm. I guess I remember a lot about that.) I don't remember what Michel Foucault had to do with that, but he wrote something on it.

Anyway, the teacher guy, Matt, was very pompous and artsy, with that better-than-everyone-else look on his face all the time like we students were stupid for not knowing what he was talking about. I don't know if he's changed since then, but that was my impression of him five years ago and I didn't like him. I think I'd beat down Michel Foucault with a lawnmower. Not a gas-powered lawnmower, but one of those old 50's drum-bladed lawnmowers like the Beaver used to use. I know those things are heavy, but I'd find the strengh to beat his ass down and then mow his face and back hair. Then I'd beat down Matt Pompous-ass with the lawnmower as well, making sure not to neglect his already balding head. After he is beaten down enough with the lawnmower, I'd then proceed to beat him with Michel Foucault's left arm. I would give dried fish to Michel Foucault, but not Matt the-teacher-guy.
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3.) You eat Spam!?

Of course I eat Spam. As any Pinoy person will tell you, it's a staple of the Filipino diet. I eat Spam and I like it. I'm eating Spam now. If you have a party at your house, I will bring Spam and rice for everyone (or just me) to eat. Consider this a challenge. I dare you to have a party at your house and eat the Spam that I prepare! Spam Spam Spam Spam, Spam Spam Spam Spam, Spammity Spam! Wonderful Spam!