Ish's Questions

1. Whats the coolest sounding word you can think of in the next 25 seconds (starting now)? Why? Bonus for using it in a limerick.

Coolest sounding word? Vicariously, an oldie, but a goodie.

While Stink Pants was walking to Boise,
He stopped to go pee on a fir tree.
The fir tree exclaimed,
"That's a strange kind of rain!"
The rain lives through Stink Pants vicariously.

It's not very good. I could do better if I had more time.

Oh! I thought of another mediocre cool word: insidious.

The insidious bastard from Brie
tried to steal lots of babies from me.
I cried "Hey that's fine,
'cause they aren't even mine!"
And the bastard crept from me insidiously.

That's a little better, but still not that good. Man, I used to make up cool limericks that made a lot more sense than these. Where has all the talent gone, long time passing?

Oh yeah, why are they cool sounding? Because they're four dollar college words and they make me feel smart for remembering what they mean. Plus, they end is -ous (or -ously if I'm using the adverb) like incredulous and deciduous and incontent. Doh! Oh well.
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2. When were you most frightened in your life? What did you do about it?

If you mean tangible fears, like heights or open spaces, I'd have to say spiders. I hate spiders. I make Stink Pants #5 kill spiders for me, even if I have to wake him up in the middle of the night for it. I'm such a wuss in that respect. I used to have lightning-quick terror anytime anyone threw something at me that I wasn't expecting (thanks Bill for that Mountain Dew bottle, jerk) but that fear has almost evaporated now that almost everyone I know throws stuff at me to see my reaction. I've gotten pretty good at catching (yeah, Bill, you heard me, CATCHING) stuff.

As for when I was most frightened...hmmm...I used to get really nervous about speaking in front of audiences. I love being the center of attention when I'm onstage, but it used to be that those few moments before stepping into the light were pure anxiety crazes. My heart rate would go up to 150 bpm and my hands would start shaking, but once I was onstage I was fine.

I can't really think of a time when I was the most frightened, at least not in recent memory. I can remember when I was eight, and there was a high dive in the high school pool. It was a three meter springboard and there were a thousand steps to the top. I actually got the courage to go up there and attempt to jump off, but once I was at the top, I was so frightened (three meters is a long why when you're only about three and a half feet tall) that I kind of froze. I remember the teacher yelling at me, not because I was doing anything against the rules, but because it's such a long way up and the echo is ten time worse in an indoor pool. Anyway, she was yelling at me to just come down. As I climbed down, I had to look to see each step I took. With each step I could see the tile below me and I could see myself slipping and falling down the rest of the way. I finally made it to the bottom, but after that I think my teacher confined me to the shallow end for the rest of the class. That was pretty terrifying. I never tried the high dive again, and now I can't because when I was 11 or 12, some other kid jumped off the high dive, hit his head on the bottom of the pool and ended up in a coma. The school board voted to have the high dive removed that summer. I don't remember what happened to the kid after that.

Anyway, now that I've grown up a bit, I realize that nothing's really that frightening. I do get nervous and anxious, but I can't really say I get frightened. If I do get frightened, it's because of something girly, like I'm walking to the basement to change the lightbulb and it's really, really dark, or I just finished watching "The Ring" (or "Ringu" for the foreign film buffs) and the tape has stopped so there's just static on the tv and I'm too far away from the remote to turn it off, but I can't move away from my blanket, so I just shut my eyes, cover my ears, and rock back and forth in that soothing motion that calms down babies and psycho people (and my friend C-Whore). Usually, what I'd do in that case is tell Stink Pants #5 to go turn the tv off and turn on the light (if he can pry himself away from my vice-like grip without hurting himself or others.) I hope that answers your question. I'm trying to think of more times when I was truely frightened, but nothing really sticks in mind.
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3. Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, and Mahler are coming to a potluck dinner. What should each of them bring? (There will only be five of you, so be sure to cover entrees, salad, and dessert.)

Bonus: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say as he bashes James Lipton's head in with a shovel?

Hmmm, let's see... I'd say that Bach should bring the appetizers, crackers with summer sausage and sharp chedder on them, or maybe a little fancier, like designer crackers with boar sausage and duck meat instead of summer sausage, and goat cheese with the sharp chedder. Why meaty and cheesy appetizers? Because his organ fugues just seem like something you'd eat meat and cheese to, but not a lot at once.

Mozart would bring the salad, a simple lettuce salad with maybe some spinach, mushrooms, dried cherries and a light dressing, like raspberry vinaigrette. The music of his that I remember is usually light and airy, with little turns and trills in it that remind me of the edges of lettuce leaves.

Beethoven would have to bring the main dish, I want to say something fancy, like a Thanksgiving turkey or a roast pig, but because this is a potluck and it wouldn't be fair to have one person bring so much food compared to everyone else, I guess he'd have to bring something like a meatloaf or a tuna casserole. Maybe even bratwurst and hamburger patties. His music, to me, is very grand and if I remember correctly, he wrote a lot of his symphonies (or the ends of his symphonies) in the key of C, which is an middle of the road, main dish kind of key (Please correct me if I'm wrong, I don't pretend to be a classical music buff.) I think he liked to end his symphonies with people singing and every instrument playing, very grandiose, which seems like something everyone would share in and enjoy, performers and audience alike. That's something you'd have to do when planning the main dish of a potluck dinner.

I'd bring the dessert. If I have to compare my choice of what to bring with the music that I write (which doesn't even begin to compare with Bach, Mozart and Beethoven) I'd say that the music I write is usually short sweet and simple (and usually in the key of F, but that doesn't really have anything to do with dessert.) The dessert I would bring would be ice cream sundaes with strawberry topping, a little messy, but it's good enough for me, and that's usually how I feel about the music (crap) I write. Whipped cream and shaved bittersweet chocolate pieces on top. Whipped cream because it's mostly air and I usually come up with the stuff I write out of thin air, and bittersweet chocolate because I usually dislike what I write at first, then it ends up being okay (or vice-versa).

As for Mahler, I'm not really familiar with his work, so he'd have to bring the green bean casserole with the French's Fried Onions on top. I've never had a green bean casserole or French's Fried Onions (because most of the potluck parties that I go to are usually thrown by Filipinos, and there usually isn't a green bean casserole), but from the commercial that I remember, whenever anyone goes to a potluck, that's what they bring. So that's what Mahler would bring.

As for James Lipton, I've never seen "Inside the Actor's Studio," but from what I've read, he sounds like an ass, and I think God would say (as the shovel connects with James Lipton's head), "Take that Bizitch! And take your Shatner-pausing, brown-nosing carcass offa my lawn. Boot to the head!" (Okay, maybe that's Samuel Jackson playing God, but it works for me.)