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Mom: Your dad spoke with Dr. K (Mom's regular doctor.)
Laura: What did she say?
Mom: My cholesterol is high.
Laura: So?
Mom: Tita Ding-Ding lost eleven pounds in two weeks on the South Beach Diet. (Laura notices Mom is holding a teal, metallic-y book that says "The South Beach Diet" on it. Mom starts flipping through it.) I really have to lose some weight.
Laura: Are you serious? (Mom looks at her.) Okay! If we're doing this, no more snacking or second helpings!
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We then looked through to book, paying attention to what we should eat, what we shouldn't eat, quantities and so forth.
You'll notice I say "we" when I talk about this diet. Well, not only did Tita Ding-Ding (the famous lecheplan lady) lose eleven pounds in the first two weeks, she also dropped her cholesterol by something gigantic, 25 points or whatever. So, I figure, if it lowers cholesterol, it can't be bad right? And it'll keep me from having to scrounge for myself when Mom makes her diet dinners. Plus, how can I tell my mother she's not allowed to have a Hershey's kiss when I have a seven-layer Death by Chocolate piece of cake in front of me?
Don't worry, I don't plan on losing weight or anything (I'm a scant 100 pounds as it is) I'll cheat when I'm not around Mom. But for dinners and snacks at home, I'm eating what she eats. It's easier when you don't have to do it alone, right?
Anyway, after we watched our two movies (it's Saturday. That's moving-watching sloth day over here) we made a list and went grocery shopping.
Some of the items on our list:
- Romaine lettuce
- Laughing Cow light cheese wedges
- avocado
- celery
- red bell pepper
- fresh rosemary
- fresh thyme
- fresh cilantro
- skinless chicken breast
- sirloin steak
- salmon
- sugar substitute
- nonfat milk
- liquid egg substitute
- decaffeinated coffee
- nonfat mozzerella sticks
- nonfat shredded mozzerella cheese
- nonfat ricotta cheese
- light soy
- balsamic vinegar
- frozen chopped spinach
Quite a list, right? We ended up spending $101 on groceries for the next three days. We wouldn't have if there hadn't been a sale on bottled water six packs, ten for $10. Of course, we bought ten. Mom loves her bottled water though. It's as if the water from the tap is unclean. Who wants to drink plague water?
So, we went home and had Mom's last supper. Adobo chicken with potatoes, hard boiled eggs and rice. Man, I'm going to miss rice. I don't know how Mom will be able to do it. She's eaten jasmine rice pretty much every day for her whole life. Rice is a staple of the Filipino diet. Rice fills you up when there isn't much meat. Rice, thou art a meal in yourself! Rice, thou art the pinnacle of ages of agricultural achievement! Rice, you are the bane of the South Beach Diet! I am white, and I'm all right!...well, not for dieters' sake.
Damn! I'm really gonna miss rice! This separation is gonna be hard. It's not you, Rice. It's me! I'm really sorry it had to come to this, but I can't see you anymore. You can visit the children every third Thursday, and Sundays when it's convenient for me.
Enough with the sad parting.
So anyway, we made Mom's breakfast for tomorrow. Spinach quiche using egg substitute, frozen chopped spinach, onions and nonfat shredded mozzerella cheese. I tried some of it already. It's not bad, but it lacks salt.
Now starts our journey of two weeks of carbohydrate deprivation. I know I'll be okay. I just have to make sure Mom stays on the wagon. Wish us luck!
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