Weekend of Carnage: I AM Death on Four Wheels

Eight years.

Eight years of driving experience and I have never killed anything bigger than an overgrown bumblebee.

Not anymore.

This past weekend, I killed not one, but two furry little critters with my giant SUV of death.

I am sad.

Here are my stories.

Chapter 1: Death of a Cute Little Dog

Friday, Princess Pinoy and I decide it's a good idea to go to Hickville for karaoke. He's never been to karaoke singing in a dive bar, so we both figured it'd be a good time for him to lose his hick bar karaoke virginity.

Princess Pinoy: Am I dressed up enough?

Laura: If you have shoes you're dressed up enough for Hickville.

We leave at 10:30 or so and it takes about twenty minutes to get to the bar/bowling alley. We're busy talking about whatever we were talking about when a dark shape scuttles across the road. In a second, I start screaming, Princess Pinoy starts screaming, I'm yelling "Dog! It's a dog!" and then we hear a thump, thump thump...and it's over. The first animal I've ever hit with my car, and it's a cute little dog.

So after that, we talk about the deaths by car of various animals that we've been witness to, but we make it to Hickville safe and sound. We sang a couple songs, danced with some locals, and made our way home after a couple hours.

Chapter 2: Death of a Quail/Pheasant-like bird

Sunday, I went to andy and anderella's house for a jewelry party. I had never been to one before and it sounded like fun, so I called anderella on Saturday to let her know I was coming.

The drive down to Inkipee was okay. I saw a lot of Michigan's state tree. For those of you who don't know, Michigan's state tree is the orange stripey road construction barrel. I'd put a picture up, but you all should know what I'm talking about. There were barrels everywhere.

Anyway, I got there an hour late and bought me up some jewelry. How could I not? It was buy one, get two for half off, and you were allowed to use the cheapest piece of jewelry as the full price one.

After asking anderella's father and everyone else for a better way home, I took the back way up M-52. It was actually very pleasant. If you ever get the chance to drive up that way, take some time to absorb the ruralness. It's like a frickin' pastoral painting.

I drove all that way up new territory and it wasn't until I was five miles from home when two quail(?) dart out in front of me. Again, I hear the thump, thump thump and I have a mini freak out. I look in the rearview mirror to see a scene that would make any five-year-old cry. One bird tumbled to a stop while the other turned around to run back to it. As I drove down a hill the heart-wrenching show moved out of my sight and I sighed.

Two animals. Two animals that are no longer on this earth because they and I were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Blah.

These were bad, but not as horrible as the time I was with Samantha and we saw a little bunny's brains get spewed all over the road by the car in front of us. I'm still feeling sick about it now.